To a victim of any form of abuse, everyday existence can be a struggle. After feeling depressed, oppressed and caught on a one-way path, you are lucky enough if you have made the choice to stand and fight back. Life after the abuse is liberating but the struggle does not simply end there. Whether you are a victim of sexual abuse, physical abuse or relationship abuse, recovering from abuse and living your own life to the fullest is a good choice.
Support is Everywhere
A lot of people will stand by your decision and help you recover from abuse after you have decided to fight for yourself and live a new life. But the decision to smile and be happy once again is still within you. If you are recovering from abuse, here are some important things you should keep in mind to help you find the real joy of living:
You are never alone
Feeling lonely and empty is one of the most common emotional states of people who are recovering from abuse. Along with these symptoms, you may experience sleepless nights, fear and anxiety. No matter how bad you feel after leaving an abusive relationship or standing on your own against an abuse, you should keep in mind that you are not alone in your struggle. There are a lot of people who are willing to extend an arm and help you get back on track. All you need to do is to break down the walls you have made around you and be ready to accept their support.
You made the right choice
The choice to stand against abuse is the right choice. Congratulations! You were not born in this world to be a victim and not recover. You were born to find hope, experience joy and feel loved. You are entitled to have a good life. It’s time for you to make the right choices for yourself from this day forward.
You need to forgive yourself
It is wrong to believe that you are at fault why the abuse happened. It did not happen because you are weak, incapacitated or that there is something wrong with you. You are a victim of circumstances and of an abusive person or situation. You need to accept the fact that you are not at fault. Forgive yourself, make peace with your past no matter how painful and open your heart and mind to the things the future has to offer.
You can take your time
Recovering from abuse does not happen overnight. For victims who have been struggling for years, recovery may take more years or even decades. You don’t have to force yourself into adapting to a new life after experiencing terrible mistreatments. Take as much time as you can until you finally find yourself walking down the path you are destined to take.
An abuse can leave a deep wound in any person’s heart but it does not have to remain painful forever. Take time to let the wound heal and while you’re at it, smile and stay positive.
Many people say that we should not look back at our past. We have to move on. But I say, you can look back. But do not return to those dark, historic moments in your life.
Our life is like a book that is not yet finished. We had written a lot of chapters but we haven’t reached our ending. Some chapters talk about how we succeeded and how we failed. Some chapters tell of our happiest moments and let you remember the painful ones.
We all have a Past
Our pains can arise from a multitude of contributory factors. Perhaps the death of someone we loved, relationships that did not quite work out, or even expectations that did not come to fruition. And they could arise from many differing levels of abuse. There can be abuse experienced as a child or it can be abuse from an intimate partner. Different kinds of abuse can take the form of financial, mental and more commonly emotional abuse.
After a painful experience, people tell us to move on. Indeed, it is easier to say than do. But I hope I can help you write the next chapter of your life.
1. Be Positive about your Achievements
Congratulate yourself. You’ve surpassed it! Now the thing you need to master is the art of progressing on and ahead. But knowing that you have defeated that chapter in yourself, and you finally said no to it means you are strong. You are very brave. And knowing what you know now, you can get on with your life and make the best out of it.
2. Think of happy thoughts
Peter Pan can fly because he feels so light, he thinks of happy thoughts. Although he is a fictional character, the feeling is real. You just have to change your perspective. It’s not a requirement for you to become optimistic all the time, but you have to try to transform your perspective. Realize how blessed you are with the people who love and care for you in your darkest days. Don’t let go of these people because they are for keeps.
3. Rebuild yourself
Do the things you wanted to do for the longest time, travel if you must. Change your lifestyle. You can do some jogging, research says, exercises can help release stress and make you feel good. Why not treat yourself & take a limo ride as I did in Auckland. This is sure to bring some joy to your life. When I get back to my home town Salt Lake City I will hire a limo service there too. Leave your boring work and pursue what you really want, or if you really love your work, focus on your career and help yourself get promoted. Buy that very beautiful dress you’ve been eyeing for the longest time. It’s time to pick up those pieces again and be yourself.
4. Be happy
Happiness lies on the people around you. You are your own happy bubble. I know it’s a cliché, but really, happiness is a choice. As I’ve said in the beginning, you can look back but never step back. You can look back and say to yourself that you will never allow for it to happen again. Transform your pain into something more worth it. Let that pain be your source of strength. So that when you try to look back, you will just smile and give yourself a tap for a good progress you are having now. There will be more challenges but you will learn to smile at them, because you know you can handle them.
5. Help others
You are not the only person who has experienced pain from abuse. Make yourself the voice of the people who cannot speak for themselves. Stand up for them as you stand up for yourself. Helping other people is also helping you. This makes the pain you have experienced become an inspiration for others.
Do not re-write your life. Instead continue onward with your life and forge ahead with positivity. It is time to write the next beautiful pathways in your journey of life.
So often we get distracted by life’s troubles we overlook the fact that most of us are leading an extraordinary life. With that mindset being positive we can achieve so much more than the pessimists.
Let’s be grateful for all that God has given us and cherish each moment on this earth as if it were our last. How much more fulfilling would our lives be if that was our attitude?