Getting Over Hurtful Life Events such as Abuse

young couple happy on beach

Many people say that we should not look back at our past. We have to move on. But I say, you can look back. But do not return to those dark, historic moments in your life.

Our life is like a book that is not yet finished. We had written a lot of chapters but we haven’t reached our ending. Some chapters talk about how we succeeded and how we failed. Some chapters tell of our happiest moments and let you remember the painful ones.


We all have a Past 

Our pains can arise from a multitude of contributory factors. Perhaps the death of someone we loved, relationships that did not quite work out, or even expectations that did not come to fruition. And they could arise from many differing levels of abuse. There can be abuse experienced as a child or it can be abuse from an intimate partner. Different kinds of abuse can take the form of financial, mental and more commonly emotional abuse.


After a painful experience, people tell us to move on. Indeed, it is easier to say than do. But I hope I can help you write the next chapter of your life.


1. Be Positive about your Achievements

Congratulate yourself. You’ve surpassed it! Now the thing you need to master is the art of progressing on and ahead. But knowing that you have defeated that chapter in yourself, and you finally said no to it means you are strong. You are very brave. And knowing what you know now, you can get on with your life and make the best out of it.


2. Think of happy thoughts

Peter Pan can fly because he feels so light, he thinks of happy thoughts. Although he is a fictional character, the feeling is real. You just have to change your perspective. It’s not a requirement for you to become optimistic all the time, but you have to try to transform your perspective. Realize how blessed you are with the people who love and care for you in your darkest days. Don’t let go of these people because they are for keeps.


3. Rebuild yourself

Do the things you wanted to do for the longest time, travel if you must. Change your lifestyle. You can do some jogging, research says, exercises can help release stress and make you feel good. Why not treat yourself & take a limo ride as I did in Auckland. This is sure to bring some joy to your life. When I get back to my home town Salt Lake City I will hire a limo service there too. Leave your boring work and pursue what you really want, or if you really love your work, focus on your career and help yourself get promoted. Buy that very beautiful dress you’ve been eyeing for the longest time. It’s time to pick up those pieces again and be yourself.


4. Be happy

Happiness lies on the people around you. You are your own happy bubble. I know it’s a cliché, but really, happiness is a choice. As I’ve said in the beginning, you can look back but never step back. You can look back and say to yourself that you will never allow for it to happen again. Transform your pain into something more worth it. Let that pain be your source of strength. So that when you try to look back, you will just smile and give yourself a tap for a good progress you are having now. There will be more challenges but you will learn to smile at them, because you know you can handle them.


5. Help others

You are not the only person who has experienced pain from abuse. Make yourself the voice of the people who cannot speak for themselves. Stand up for them as you stand up for yourself. Helping other people is also helping you. This makes the pain you have experienced become an inspiration for others.


Do not re-write your life. Instead continue onward with your life and forge ahead with positivity. It is time to write the next beautiful pathways in your journey of life.